I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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