She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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