His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
