Porn is love you can see.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
