he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
