She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
