We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
