i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
is that a dick in a sweater?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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