at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
