I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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