Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
