the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Last time i carry you out of a forest
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
So. Much. Porn.
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