one two three fourrrrnication!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
