Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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