I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
