But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
