u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
