I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
