She's JV to your varsity
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
