my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
