so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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