It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
