sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
