When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
we made out on top of his cat.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
