The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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