My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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