piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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