You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
