return my video game
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
