I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
