i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
