I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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