Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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