They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
it was like eating out sand paper
Everything about him screamed your future.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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