She's JV to your varsity
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Please, let me fuck your mom
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
