it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My pussy is not your playground.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
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