Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
How does one acquire holy water?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
