Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
