Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
