Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
