lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
