He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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