I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
