College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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