I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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