I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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