i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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