I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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