i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My penis needs a shock collar
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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