I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
