Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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