My Higher Power is John Stamos
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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