she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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